Wendy @ Home: Tuesday, April 28

Live from Wendy's apartment in New York, it's “The Wendy Williams Show”.

(cheering) ♪ Feel it, feel, feel, it, it, feel it ♪ Now, here's Wendy! (cheering) And away we go again.

The most obvious thing is today's costume.

John Oliver is my guest today and look what I found with the door man yesterday.

Norman.

It's not a onesie, it's a two-sie.

But I gotta tell you something, it is made very well and it's cozy and let me just show you.

This is the mark of good craftsmanship, when you turn it inside out and still see, it's cozy.

I might sleep in this.

Pockets on the pants, none on the top, a little hood in the back.

(groaning) Thank you John Oliver.

If you don't know what pork roll is all you've gotta do is Google it.

Some people in Jersey call it Taylor Ham, I always grew up calling it pork roll and I also did not grow up eating it out of the box the way I displayed on my Instagram.

I grew up cutting it out of the canvas, the long casing.

You know you cut some pork roll and you put the casing back over and you eat it all the way down 'til it's done and that was a way of life.

Pork roll and eggs, pork roll and grits, pork roll by itself, pork roll in the frying pan, pork roll in the microwave, pork roll.

So it turns out, and I had no idea.

Do you know that there's a pork roll festival in Jersey? Thanks to Corona it's been canceled, it was supposed to be in May but it's gonna be in September.

Norman? Yeah? As much as I like pork roll, (Norman laughing) September's too soon to go to a festival, it's gonna be in Trenton.

Yeah.

It needs to be, I don't know, next summer.

Try again next summer.

Yeah.

And people are gonna ask me, well what do you do at the pork roll festival? Well obviously, everything that can be done with pork roll.

I've just given you a few recipes.

It's not that big.

Not as big as that house party in Chicago.

Look Norman, what is going on with your people on the west side? I have no idea.

It's from my part of town, the west side, AKA the best side but I mean, who's going to this party? (laughing) Apparently a lot of kids.

Yes.

And they were, I saw red cups, I saw no masks, I saw hundreds of people crammed into a house and no adults.

Best I could see, in sight.

Yeah.

Look at these people.

What is that? How germy is that? And you could only imagine that if it was that crowded out in the main area, that each bedroom was packed full of couples doing all kind of things that couples do.

Right.

So who should be blamed for this? The mayor's mad, the governor is mad, Norman's mad.

Norman how did you even make it out of the west side? (laughing) God bless your parents.

(laughing) God bless my parents.

(laughing) Norman, if you were their age, would you have been there? Well.

Wow.

(laughing) Well not if there's a big global pandemic going on but aside from that, the party kinda looks a little fun, a little bit.

Even without the pandemic that party looks like nothing but trouble.

(laughing) Know what it looks like it's gonna end up in? I mean.

Right.

Pre-pandemic.

How do you think that party would end Norman? You're from the west side, lay it down.

A party like that only ends in gun shots.

(laughing) Norman, what is going on? What a nightmare.

Yeah, people just don't get it.

Well let's keep it in Chicago and talk about Jussie.

Jussie, stupid is still doing the most.

He's giving back as if we're gonna forget what he's done.

All right, he donated they say over $30, 000 in masks for people on the first line, they're in Chicago.

Well that's really nice and allegedly it wasn't Jussie who released this information to social media it was some of the nurses and the doctors on the receiving end of Jussie's very generous donation, very generous.

And I believe that, you know, I do believe that he wasn't the one who released the information but you know, if Jussie really wanted, excuse me, if Jussie really wanted to do something in terms of giving back, he would've had one of his people's, people's, people's, walk it over there to the doctors and nurses and the hospital workers and just leave it there for them and then disappear.

He is a show pony.

When I think of Jussie stupid, all I'll ever think of is he and the crime and the two Nigerian brothers.

(laughing) Damn.

Do you know what I mean Norman? Yeah.

I mean, it's a stain on, forever, for as long as we live and we hear Jussie, we'll think about this.

Sorry Jussie.

It's not a stain on Chicago though.

You still got the most handsome men and the best food and the idea you can stay in a high rise and look at the beach at the same time.

That's a magical city to me.

I can't wait for quarantining to be over.

They're gonna be, they're in my top 10 things I wanna do after I get un-quarantined.

I gotta figure out how to get there though.

So, there's a woman who's the mayor in Texas and she was busted for going into a nail salon 'cause she needed her nails done.

This woman, her name is, Becky Ames.

That's a cute name right? Becky Ames.

Becky Ames of Beaumont, Texas.

So, according to sources, Becky, I guess she gets the gel manicure and they weren't looking good and they were starting to hurt her and she ran into a nail tech and she was explaining to the nail tech that her nails hurt and she really wants her hands to look nice as she does, you know all that stuff the politicians are doing with their hands, she wants to look beautiful.

So, the nail tech said, I got a salon.

I'll open it for you.

I'll take everything off real quick, put everything back together for you.

Nobody has to know anything.

Here goes dumb Becky.

(laughing) Becky.

(laughing) Becky goes to the salon, gets her nails done and there's somebody at the, there's always somebody, with that damn camera.

There's somebody at the salon who took the picture of Becky.

Do we have the picture? Yep.

(laughing) Busted! Look at that.

There's Becky getting her nails done 'cause that was so important.

That is so important.

She broke her own stay at home order.

(laughing) How do politicians expect us to follow their lead if they're not gonna follow their own lead.

You know, and I'm not suggesting that this is right but you know I know how to hatch a plan.

Becky, if you really needed your nails done so badly, what you would've done is talk to the nail girl, right and told her, bring over the acetone.

I got acetone upstairs.

All I know about acetone is you pour it in one bowl, pour it in the other, you soak your nails for a Lifetime movie, then you wipe everything off, everything is good.

That's it, I have natural nails though, I don't know.

Becky, you should've invited this girl over some time after nine o'clock at night, tell her bring the acetone, close the blinds, pull into the garage around the back, hurry up do my nails and then leave.

Well, she ended up apologizing, this Becky Ames.

Saying that she had a lapse in judgment.

Norman, I'm tired of lapses in judgment.

(laughing) It's enough of it, Becky with the good nails.

(laughing) (snorting)(laughing) I am done.

I am done.

I'll tell you what, I know how I'm getting to Chicago okay.

Probably the easiest way to get around is, I gotta get my Zamboni out.

(techno sounds) You know.

The Zamboni is nice and high.

(laughing) You know what a Zamboni is don't you Norman? Yeah.

(laughing) Look, I could get a Zamboni when I, I will get in that Zamboni.

(laughing) I'm gonna drive to Chicago, get me some deep dish pizza and some good steak.

I'm gonna look at the men out the window, I didn't say I was gonna touch them, just look.

(car honking) In the Zamboni.

Now they drive real slow, but high up.

It might take me 10 hours to get there, it's okay.

(laughing) When you drive a Zamboni nobody F's with you.

(laughing) John Oliver gave me a shout out last week on his show and we've had this thing going on ever since.

Take a look.

Wendy Williams has ascended to a level of (beep) not given that no human has ever achieved before.

I'll be honest, I was never a regular viewer of “The Wendy Williams Show” but I've become a big fan of Wendy at home.

It's an oasis of truth in a world full of lies.

It's a real pickle atop a fake hamburger if you will.

(laughing) Please welcome our new friend, John Oliver.

John! (cheering) How you doing?Wendy.

How you doing? Oh my gosh, John.

Yes? You're wearing it too.

Oh, Wendy, I'm not getting one for you without getting one for myself as well.

I love it, I love it.

It's a little more of a crop top then I was expecting but you know, I'm working with it.

(laughing) I think I'm gonna sleep in mine tonight.

John, did you get theYeah I think I would sleep gift that I sent–in mine except.

What's that? Your wife will be turned off.

She will be turned off and my four year old is very confused.

He just said “dada what are you wearing, why?” And I said, “I don't know, there's a short answer to that and a very, very long answer.

” (laughing) So john, did you get my gift that I sent to you? Yeah Wendy I did, let me say this before I show your viewers what you've sent, you know how to gift because I was not expecting (laughing) this but if I could just get it for you because you'll notice I have a kind of nothing background whereas you have a spectacular background.

Like a Liberace fever dream.

You, you, sent this.

Here it comes, brace yourself.

Look at that.

(laughing) I mean, just look at that.

Me with the lamb chop.

Yeah it's you, it's a painting, a very big painting of you about to go to town on a lamb chop.

(heavily exhaling) I love my food.

Yeah well look, I'm not, I don't know much, oh (beep).

(laughing) I don't know about food Wendy but I know what I like and I like large paintings of you eating various meat products.

Did you get the caviar? Yeah I did, hold on, let me just prop this up so it doesn't fall down again.

There we go.

Michael Lee made that.

It's more or less safe, it's beautiful, it's a beautiful.

I did, I also, you sent caviar and Doritos.

Did you try it yet? I haven't and I'll try it now.

I will say, I don't like either of these food stuff separately so I don't know, I don't know quite what it's gonna taste like together.

Okay.

Do you scoop, is that how you do? Scoop! Mm-hmm.

Okay.

All right.

And you could use a finger too.

There you go, there you go, there you go.

Is that appropriate? Put it in, go.

(crunching) Wow.

It's a lot, isn't it? It's a lot.

A flavor.

Well it's not just one flavor Wendy, it's almost all of the flavors.

(laughing) (muffled speaking) A kind of sensory tornado.

John, I know you from you from “The Daily Show” and I also know you from Billy Eichner.

Yes.

How did you run into me? Well first it was through Billy Eichner.

We were running through the streets of Chelsea asking gay people if they like you or me and you very much won that battle.

(laughing) It was an emphatic, ferocious victory.

They were at best indifferent to me and they were almost militantly supportive of you.

And then we were looking for, when we were starting our at home episodes, we were looking for clips of other shows and what they were doing and we stumbled upon that first episode of you when you were, didn't seem sure that you wanted to be doing this and there was something absolutely electrifying about watching someone give absolutely zero (beep) and it felt like that's what you were giving.

(laughing) I feel invaded upon in a weird way.

Do you feel invaded upon? Do I feel invaded upon? Yes, like people are in your home.

I see your background is so bare, you must.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's why I went with the white background.

Obviously it's the opposite of a white background now but that's why I kind of just sealed people off so that it was just, you get me and you get none of my life.

Also, I will say, I do not have a kind of spectacular interesting that I live in, unlike yourself.

(laughing) So, you curse a lot on your show, all right.

I do, yes.

But you've also got young kids and you're all quarantined together.

Do they hear you cursing up a storm, do they curse back? I hope not.

We're not at the curse back stage, at that point we know that we've entered a different territory.

I think what I do is a turn up the program, TV program that they're watching and then I go to a room and basically swear for half an hour.

So, I think if they have any memory of this quarantine time it's gonna be that dad occasionally went to a room and then screamed.

So, that's what I do, I come in here and I speak appallingly.

And I hope they don't hear any of it.

By the way, your wife is very beautiful.

Oh thank you, thanks Wendy, thanks.

Yeah, where did you meet her? Oh she was in the Army.

I met her, she just got back from Iraq, she was in the Army, she was a combat medic with first Cav and so I met her and, when I was shooting a piece for “The Daily Show” and we kind of hit it off and then met up a year later and then what is.

But yeah, we're very different people.

(laughing) So she's brave and I am not.

But that's interesting so, you were very well taken care of 'cause you're living with a medic.

Wow.

Yes, that's right.

Yeah so if something goes wrong, I kind of trust that she will sort it out and if she can't sort it out, I'm dead.

(laughing) So another thing that you and I have in common, we're both huge fans of “The Real Housewives of New York”.

World class, world class television.

Who's your favorite? (groaning) It's difficult to say isn't it? It's like saying who's your favorite when eating caviar and Doritos, it's not about the separate elements, it's about the combination.

So, yeah I think this.

I kind of have a soft spot for any of them who are kind of entering the borderline sociopath territory.

So, I think, Sonja is pretty incredible.

Mean, just a couple weeks ago.

I like Sonja.

Yeah, when she went to that terrible party and nothing was happening of any interest and so she took it upon herself to drink a dangerous amount of alcohol and she basically produced that episode.

She should've had an executive producer credit at the end of that, magnificent.

I love them all.

Do you like the new girl Leah? I think she's good.

I think she's good, she started quiet, which it seems appropriate.

You kind of sit back like a baseball player and you wait for your pitch but then that last episode, when she really took it to the house, whack.

That was magnificent.

Throwing tiki torches, naked diving into a pool and basically trashing Ramona's house is excellent.

I like comedy, a working comedy, I like funny shows.

I'm not sure I've laughed at anything this year harder than I laughed at that episode.

Well, I wanna thank you John for being such a good new friend of the Wendy show and I cannot wait 'til quarantine is over so you and I can get together.

I'll come over or you know you come to– That sounds good.

Like, thank you so much.

Quarantine safely and have a wonderful day.

Bye John! You too Wendy.

Thank you for this magnificent work.

(cheering) (laughing) Thank you.

Now it's time for (laughing), it's time for ask Wendy.

(upbeat techno music) Who's this? Hi, oh wow.

Hey Wendy, how you doing? Not as good as you, you did the full ensemble.

What's your name?Thank you.

Where are you from? What do you do? My name is Jeneal, I'm from Silver Spring, Maryland and I'm an administrative assistant for Berry Appleman and Leiden.

Okay, how can I help you Jeneal? So my question is, I've been single for a really long time now and usually I meet guys when I go out and we go on dates and stuff but since the whole quarantine and lockdown, I was wondering, do you think now would be a good time to do online dating? No.

No? I'll tell you what I think now is the time to do regarding online dating.

It's time to start researching the sites that you wanna jump on.

Okay.

Once quarantine is over.

And then you start online dating.

Okay 'cause I've always been against it but I'm like, why not try, you know.

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with trying it but this is not the good time to try it because you're just having conversations with people that you don't even know during a time of quarantine when people tend to either say too much about themselves, you know Jeneal? Yeah.

Or not enough about themselves.

Okay.

You know and so, but start researching the sites that you wanna go on and how old are you by the way? I'm 23.

Girl.

Let me tell you something.

Men should not be the first thing in your mind, okay.

Now you got your nice job.

What'd you say you were in marketing? No, I'm an administrative assistant, I work for a corporate immigration law firm.

See, you got your career going on, you know, you've got your health, you've got good lip gloss.

Thank you.

You know, a pretty pink dress.

Do you live by yourself? Yeah I do.

Jeneal, look at you go and you're only 23.

I understand wanting the comfort of a man but you know, for you at this particular, do you have children? Oh no.

Perfect.

You first, men second, okay? Thanks Wendy.

In the mean time everybody, we've got an encore presentation.

Master P and Romeo are here, mm, grapefruit juice.

Mm, they're here, so grab a snack and come on back.

♪ Feel, feel, feel it, feel it ♪ ♪ Feel, feel, it, it, feel it, woo ♪.

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